its always too soon to quit

I've been feeling so down and drained. I am so done with school. Every period I would sit looking at the clock tick, waiting for the bell to ring. The last three weeks feels so far from now. I need summer to come, before I go insane.

First it was No. Then it was Maybe. Then it was Yes. Now, I'm in the mood of No. And probably by morning, I'll be a Maybe. I can't take this off and on relationship. It should be consistent. But for some reason with YOU, I can't make up my damn mind. What will it take for you to appreciate my presence. A no? It wasn't always like this. I used to love your company soo much. Even if it were a 5 minutes conversation on the phone, or a quick visit in the neighborhood. Or when you came by to give me tylenol or take me to the park with Kush and Einstein. And I loved you so much for that. You used to give me so much energy. You gave me strength to wake up happy that it was another day. You regenerated my withering hope and gave me vigor that granted me, me... Maybe it's because your life is so busy right now and I can't be squeezed in. But I want to be there, to jump every obstacle, and overcome every defeat with you. You tell me to be happy, but how the hell am I supposed to be happy, when you're not?

There's too much building up in my brain right now. I want No, but I reassure you the answer will change by tomorrow. You're everything to me.